“You know I was 13 when I was sent to hell. I was someone’s possession won by someone else. I was supposed to be a merry wife. I was a princess of a royal kingdom without any self respect and peace. My sister and I were brave yet gloomy. We were full of agony but always acted as foolish helpless queens. After spending six years in the kingdom, the reason of us being there had gone forever. We were dark widows roaming around in the corridors of that grand territory. We were just a waste there, good for nothing. Soon our dear higher lady thought of us, not as vulnerable widows, but as human bearing equipment. We weren’t there in the abstract thoughts of the higher lady. The king, who abandoned himself in the forest, came as a weapon of mass destruction in my life. He was huge, dreadful and foul and I was silly, feeble and pleasing. I didn’t say no, I didn’t push him away, I didn’t shout or fret. I lay down patient and gave that ogre the liberty to play with me and my belonging. I guess my mind was still the mind of the generous 13 year old Ambika. I blindfolded myself to prevent my sight from burning. That awful human didn’t give a damn to those innocent closed eyes. After he enjoyed the ride of my dry body he very quietly gave me a gift. You think he is sweet right? The gift of an unwanted child carrying womb. My dear son got the traits of his birth parents, blind like me. Just the difference I was blind on that one dreadful night and he would be blind on all occasions in his life. He would be brave like his father. He would run the clan with pride. The motive of me being there in the kingdom was successfully achieved by the Kaurav family. Until they feared the thought of having a sightless king. My sister became the victim this time, and the dear nomad monster got to play with the little childlike sister of mine. Why were so we naïve? Why didn’t we revolt for our womanliness? Are we just a calculator used for multiplication? We don’t want to live the life of a mother who would see her unwanted blind son fighting for throne, that throne which destroyed his mother’s life for life. I head towards the place far from this hell. I was 13 when I was sent to the hell.”
About Ambika
In the epic The Mahabharata Ambika is the daughter of Kashya, the King of Kashi, and wife of Vichitravirya, the king of Hastinapura. Along with her sisters she was taken by force by Bhishma from their Swayamvara. Bhishma challenged the assembled Kings and Princes and defeated them. He presented them to Satyavati for marriage to Vichitravirya. Vichitravirya married only Ambika and Ambalika, and refused to marry Amba since she had already given her heart to King Salva. After 6 years Vichitravirya died. Satyavati sent for her first born son, Rishi Veda Vyasa, according to his mother’s wishes, he visited both the wives of Vichitravirya to grant them each a son under the Niyoga system. When Vyasa Ambika, saw his dreadful, forbidding appearance and burning eyes. In her frightened state, she closed her eyes. Hence her son Dhritarashtra, the father of the Kauravas was born blind. Much later Ambika accompanied Satyavati and Ambalika to the forest and ended her life in austerities.
